"the recordings were so shit it wouldn’t matter if they were copied onto washing up sponges"
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Mugged! My Story By Man From Uranus

Um "Holy Fire" Strawberry Fair 2004

The UM Archive for November, 2001

$50 million for the head of George Bush

Was amused to read the other day that in response to the US. Government’s offer of $25 million for information leading to the capture of Osama Bin Laden the Taliban have solemnly announced a price of $50 million for the head of George Bush.
Embarrassed by the article in Adhoc, of course. Not sure [...]

Why are Pence Eleven so successful?

Searching through the new releases section of The Wire (as I do every month in the insane hope that they will review something I haven’t actually made available to anyone) I discover that the Middle Class Records posse are laughing spazzily at me from their exalted location at the eppy-centre of the media feeding frenzy, [...]

bah!

Awoke infused with the spirit of Monday just before 6AM. Did Syd duty until 8:40, then went back to a different bed. Slept until 10:30. Got up, then thought better of it, and went back to bed again. Dreamt people were stoning me. Re-awoke at 11:15. Did the bottles and the washing up, cooked a [...]

Obstacles overcome like Jonathan King

Exactly three years since the release of “An Audio Obstacle Course” (if you can count ten copies as being a release). Appalling backlog once again with the diary thing, for which I apologise. Got interviewed by Adhoc the other week, and since the article is coming out soon, I feel the need for [...]

washing machines/Americans

Would like to apologise for the lack of diary content lately. Here is a random round-up of recent events: I went to my mother’s wedding and my damn fool brother told some old family friends that I had a website, presumably because he’s never visited the fucking site. It was a big [...]

I was slack. Now I’m back

And on the Saturday the little caterpillar drank:
One bottle of Ostravar Czech lager 2 bottles of export strength Guinness 1 can of Stella Artois About ¾ pint of wine And one very strong gin & tonic
And when he woke up on Sunday he wasn’t a little caterpillar [...]

USA declares war on ants!

Yes its true, and a major scoop for this website. The United States has declared war on the small species of insect known as the ant, and are due to begin air strikes within the week The British are right behind them, and the rest of Europe has given tacit approval, with or without a [...]