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Mugged! My Story By Man From Uranus

Um "Holy Fire" Strawberry Fair 2004

The UM Archive for January, 2004

Dope is now legal, lest we forget…

Just want to say a couple of things on my lunchbreak.
People should look at my pop career as being essentially tantric in nature.
Someone refreshed my memory re. what I’d actually written about Robert Kilroy-Silk (see “hate figures” section of “lists”) and I was surprised at how nicely his bigoted evil eventually [...]

unhealthy attention to detail

Before I worked in Arjuna I never went in the bloody shop because I thought they’d be able to smell the meat, and although I only do two days a week, I’ve now been there long enough to feel like a bit of an old hand. At least once every working day, however, somebody asks [...]

That was my idea…

Tonight I had a barney with the wife, then got caned to kill the anger, and then, feeling like the world was generally against me in some way, I went home to receive the following email from Richard “Rosey” R*E*P*E*A*T:
Do you remember Kurt Cobain? He died 10 years ago this April.
In [...]

till-monkey unnerved by poor mentalist big spender

The insane make me nervous. A young bloke came in the shop today that was evidently, obviously, clinically, and scientifically mad as a box of frogs. This is the reasoning behind my amateur diagnosis:
1. He gathers up goods worth £63-odd in about 4 minutes flat. 2. His ring tone is set to [...]

Karma bust for Kilroy-Silk, or am I just a cunt?

Some random thoughts to ease me back into the discipline of writing bollocks.
It is only by repeated viewings of the Disney/Pixar film Monsters Inc. that one discovers its true purpose as a brutal critique of contemporary so-called consensus politics. Power is made with fear. Watching the lunchtime BBC news-with-Anna-Ford about “What To Do [...]